Cyber Friends

In today's day and age, I would venture to say that some of us stay at home mom's have more cyber friends than in real life friends.  This is not a commentary about that.

About 5.5 years ago while we were living in Japan, I became pregnant with Nikki.  My first trimester I was completely bed ridden, suffered from such extreme nausea that I could barely eat.  I went from 111 pounds to 101 lbs. in a month.  I was miserable.  The only thing that took my mind off my misery was using the computer to read about all things pregnancy related.  And that is how I found Babyfit.com.  I joined a due date club and over the months we all bonded over stories of morning sickness, weight gain, and stretch marks.  Then our babies were born and it was birth stories, sleepless nights, colic, and feeding woes.  Time went on and it was first birthdays, first words, potty training, first day of preschool, and for some this year, the first day of Kindergarten.  We have been fast friends for 5.5 years and most of us have never met in person.

This Friday I get to meet one of my sweet babyfit friends who I feel like I have known forever... Caryn has had 2 more children since our 5 year olds and is pregnant with her fourth!  Two other babyfit friends, that I have met before, along with their families and Caryn and her family will be coming to my house Friday night for Pizza.  Caryn and her family are passing through on their way from Texas to Virginia, so I offered our house for them to spend the night (I am so not into $100 a night for a hotel room!) and we decided to have a meet-up!  I am so excited.  And while cyber friends taking the place of real life friends may not be the best thing ever, I sure do love it when cyber friends ARE real life friends.

Date night

One of the blessings of having older kids and younger kids at the same time is that the older is usually in need of cash and willing to babysit in order to get said cash.  This means that Mark and I get to go out, make that get begged to go out, at least once a week.  :-)  So we have a little Friday routine going.  We can't afford to do fancy dates, but we usually go to Subway and get a $5 footlong, people watch for a while, and do a little grocery shopping at the Wally world.  BUT once a month, usually the first Friday, we will do something a little extra.  Tonight was First Friday so we went to downtown Knoxville to check out the art scene (extra credit for my Art Appreciation class), went to Chipotles for dinner (YUM-O) and then stopped at Steak 'n Shake for a milkshake.  I am so blessed to be married to a man that I love to spend time with.  I am also blessed to have a built-in babysitter that is more than happy to make that happen.

Has it really been three months?!

Sometimes when too much time has gone by without updating, I just avoid the blog because I don't know where to start.  I am just going to spit out some random updates on the last three months so that I can get back in the game...

*Mark and I started full time classes and things are going great.  Our schedule is worked out so that we don't have to have any child care for Nathan.  Spring semester is going to work out too.  This makes me happy.  :-)
*Katie is a sophomore at UALR, taking an active role in politics with the local "occupy" movement and living too far away for my liking. :-(
*Luke got his license back a few weeks ago and it is a blessing and a curse.  A blessing that he doesn't need a ride all the time, and a curse because he thinks he "needs" the car all the time.  :-)
*Jordan started middle school and is enjoying timed runs in gym class.  They worked up to a mile and he ran it in 6:32 which is pretty stinking good for a 10 year old who has never trained.
*Kloe also played soccer this fall and loved it.  She got her braces off and has the most beautiful smile.  You can always count on Kloe for a smile. :-)
*Nikki just turned 5 and started Pre K this year.  She also finally broke 30 lbs. and 40 inches.
*Nathan ... what can I say... the kid is stinking adorable and brings so much joy and so many smiles to our lives each day.  His current love is "choo choo" a.k.a. Thomas the Train and any device with an "i" in the front of it.  He is an expert at finding "his" apps on the iPad or our iPhones.  It borders on addiction.  Never thought I would have to limit the "screen time" of my 21 month old but I do.

So there it is in a nutshell.  Maybe now that I have "caught up" I won't be too intimidated to blog once in a while.

Mark and Luke's Ugandan Adventures: Day 1-2

Just received an update from Mark on their first few days in Uganda with Visiting Orphans. 




Day one:
So, after a loonngg flight, a stop in Ethiopia, we finally arrived in Entebbe, Uganda. our first guest house was pretty nice, had an awesome shower...as long as you held the shower head on your skin so the weak water pressure would actually hit you. We had a good meal with rice and chicken, and Mountain Dew! Yes, Mountain Dew has hit Africa and I couldn't be happier:-)

Day two:
Our first day in Uganda was at Return Ministries run by Pastor Samuel and his wife Sarah. They have 14 kids ( I think) there permanently but way more (150 or so) during the day. We played games, sang songs, did crafts and I got peed on (yes, got peed on, but will explain a bit further down). There was a sweet little girl(around 3) who wasn't saying hi as we walked by (was actually expressionless) so I took that as a challenge to break through and get her to come to me.

I walked up to her and said hi and got no response, so tried again and still no response. So I figured there's no way she's going to win and knelt down to be on her level. This time when I said hi and held out my hand she moved forward about an inch or so. I tried again and this time she walked over and put her arm around my shoulder. So, I picked her up and held her close and she eventually snuggled in. I found out her mom is a single mom and HIV positive, so she didn't have a daddy:-(. I just held her in my arms and prayed over her and eventually she actually fell asleep in my arms.  

After about 15 minutes of sleep I suddenly felt something warm on my leg. I thought surely that's not what I think it is, but yep, as she drifted into deep sleep she peed all over my leg. I was sitting down so it seeped around to the back of my leg as I struggled to hold her out off my lap and stand up without waking her. Pastor Samuel took her from me, but we were nowhere near the hotel with my luggage and clean clothes. 

Thank God, the drivers were leaving soon to transfer our luggage to Adonai guest house but it was probably over an hour before I ever got to change. At that point, even my underwear had soaked it up and was feeling/smelling pretty nasty. Needless to say, I was a little gun shy on holding any more kids once I returned to the place where everybody was.

In Memory of David L. Clark

The following is something I wrote one week after my daddy passed away in November of 1988.  I was 17.

I called him Snoopy.  I was only three but for some reason calling him "Dad" didn't feel quite right, not yet anyway.  So Snoopy it was.  He must have liked it because he drew a big picture of Snoopy on his bowling bag so everyone could see.

I'm not quite sure when he made the transition from Snoopy to Daddy but I never reconsidered my decision.  My mom said she knew how to pick a good daddy for her kids and she was right.

"Sing me a song, Daddy.  Sing 'Old Shep' for me, PLEASE!"  This was a usual request from  me whenever our family was traveling together.  I would then go on to ask him to sing every song I could think of.  He always ended with "You're the Nearest Thing to Heaven", which he sang directly to Mom.  Looking right at her he would sing, "You're the nearest thing to heaven, yes you are.  I have searched for happiness so long and far.  But my search for love was through the day that I found you.  You're the nearest thing to heaven, darling you."

Soon after mom married him, we learned that Dad's idea of a good time was roughing it in the woods.  Camping was a pastime that none of us were accustomed to but all of us grew to love.  Every weekend from Memorial Day to Labor Day we packed our things and took off for our campsite in the middle of nowhere.  With a stinky old two-seater outhouse and no running water the motor that generated light at night was our only luxury.  I can still picture Dad making bacon and eggs over the campfire.

Though I was only his step-daughter we never made a big deal of it.  People would often ask if I was his daughter and he would say yes.  We never made the distinction between daughter and step-daughter or between father and step-father.  We found it really amusing when people commented on the resemblance between us.  We would just look at each other and smile.  They didn't need to know right?

I always felt very fortunate that I had a father who was willing to be "Dad" to his step-children as well as his own.  He was a very special man.

Last week my dad died of a sudden heart attack and I miss him terribly.  I am very thankful that he died doing something he loved (hunting) and he suffered no pain.  Oh and I almost forgot, he got his deer, so he also died happy.

(Written by Renee Reynolds November 1988)

I think I can, I think I can!

I have now been a pseudo-single mom for almost 2 months.  I sometimes feel like the little engine that could, saying "I think I can, I think I can"... LOL!

Summer is here, and we have a busy one planned!  It includes 4 weeks of girls inc. camp for Kloe, time in Arkansas and Virginia for the whole family, a major kitchen remodel for the house, and a two week trip to Ethiopia/Uganda for my big boys.  They get back the day before school starts again!

I was dreading summer vacation because we were starting to struggle with Kloe and some old behaviors and I didn't know how it would go.   I made an appointment with the Dr. and told him I felt we needed to increase the dosage of aderall, and Kloe's classroom teacher and her ESL teacher confirmed what I was already feeling in my gut.  We have been about a week on the higher dosage and the difference in family life is once again, astounding.  It's like a breath of fresh air... and not just for me as a parent... but Kloe feels so much better too!

So, not too much else to tell, we are just hanging in there until we can all be together again.  Until then... I think I can, I think I can!

Mvelopes- I love this electronic envelope system!

I searched a long time to find a budgeting/electronic envelope system that I could use to budget and track our spending.  I used to use a program from Christian Financial Concepts (Now Crown) that I loved, but it was old and outdated.  I headed over to Crown to see if there was any new software and they recommended Mvelopes.  I did the two week free trial and was very pleased!  I have now been using it for 9 months.  They have really good support, and it was exactly what I was looking for as far as budgeting and tracking.  I really love it, and I am not a salesperson at all, and would NEVER recommend anything I didn't love.  If you are looking for something to get your spending on track you can try it for free too.
Click below to sign up for the free trial with my personal referral link.
Link: http://www.mvelopes.com/n-enrollmentv2/index.php?page=referral-user&accessCode=D001001024&referral=D02865838

A reminder

As the one year anniversary of the tornado approaches (tomorrow), I had this poster made as a reminder.

In case you can't read the verses the one above the hallway where we were sheltered has Psalm 91:2

"Those who live in the shelter of the Most High

      will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

 This I declare about the Lord:

   He alone is my refuge, my place of safety;

      he is my God, and I trust him.

The verse underneath the rubble that was our home is Philipians 3:8

"Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have discarded everything else, counting it all as garbage, so that I could gain Christ."

Winds of Change blowing across the Nation...

In light of the recent weather events all over our country I felt I should really post this.

Mark's dad who has served the Lord his entire life wrote this on Wednesday March 9.  Two days before the Tsunami hit Japan.  He read it to us March 22 when they were here helping with our move.  It is even more relevant now than it was then, and I want to share it with you all...

The following is a word that the Lord gave Ken (Mark's Dad) just two days before the Earthquake/Tsunami in Japan.

Winds of change, gigantic change, are blowing across the nation and the world.  Not good winds.  Winds of

Turmoil and destruction.  Winds of evil and evil intent.  There will be changes that we never could have

Believed possible.

God is saying to the Church.  Awake out of sleep for now is your day of deliverance nearer than when you first believed.

Let your roots go down deep into God and God's Word.  Spend more time in the Word.

Separate yourself from worthless and temporal things.  Don't allow your spiritual life to dissipate (a drop at A time like a leaky faucet by giving too much attention to world things.  Seek first the Kingdom of God.  Storms are coming that will blow apart many houses that are are not built on the Rock of Jesus Christ And His Word.

Strengthen your marriages now.  Strengthen your family ties now.  Teach your children God's Word.  Pray with your family.  Discuss God;s Word in family devotions. 

If your roots are deep you can withstand the storms that are coming.  Those whose roots are shallow,Will not be able to stand.

Matthew 6:33  --  Seek first the Kingdom of God.

The Speed of Trust

So, I am reading this book called "The Speed of Trust" by Stephen Covey (The son of the guy who wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.)  I would never have purchased this book, but since I discovered it in our belongings I decided to read it and am finding it quite interesting.  The basic premise is the importance of trust in getting things done.  High trust situations increase productivity and lower costs.  Low trust decreases productivity and increases costs... you get the idea.

I mention this because now that I have been made aware of the "Trust principle" I am seeing it everywhere I go.  Yesterday I experienced the text book example of this principle.   It was at the TN Dept. of Transportation and I was attempting to change my license from Arkansas to Tennessee.  As I walked in with my three pieces of mail to prove my residency, along with my passport, military ID, and valid Arkansas license I expected to have no trouble whatsoever getting my license.  BOY WAS I WRONG!!

Adorning the wall was a huge poster that stated the following

19 Terrorists
364 Aliases
26 State ID's
It only takes one.
Help stop terrorism.

So, I showed them my letter showing my name and address from the local community college. (An official institution).  They refused to accept it because the college didn't post a date on the letter.  The letter did however say "Congratulations, as of April 4 you have been accepted for admission for the FALL 2011 semester..."   But because I just might be a terrorist, this was not good enough for them.  So then I ask about the 2 other pieces of mail I had with my name and address.  These were not dated or official so no go.  Luke runs to the van to see what he can find.  He brings back our van registration and a prescription with our name and address on it, dated THIS MONTH.  The van registration only had Mark's name on it and was not acceptable.  The prescription was not on the approved list of acceptable documents.  By this time I was about to lose my witness as my friend Emily used to say.  In the end I had to drive the 10 miles back home and dig out the mortgage paperwork to our home that thankfully had my name on it as well as Mark's.  I grabbed the dated envelope from the college to show that the letter was indeed a recent piece of mail.  The lady reluctantly allowed me to get my license.

This was a classic example of LOW TRUST = HIGH COST (Time and man hours) and LOW PRODUCTIVITY.  (Ever wonder why you have to spend so much time at the DMV, now you know- LOW TRUST.)  Now don't get me wrong.  I want to do my part to stop terrorists!  Just point me to the last terrorist who was a 115 lb. white woman with five kids in tow (who also had a valid AR state ID, a valid military ID, and a valid US passport)who was merely trying to transfer her valid drivers license to her current state of residence.  Show me even one and I promise I will never complain about the TDOT again.  :-)

Progress!!

We have now been in Oak Ridge for 12 days.  In 12 days our plumbing has leaked and been fixed 3 times, and there is still an illusive leak somewhere and we can't seem to find the source.   A wiring mistake by our handyman lead to $1000 dollars in damage to electronics, our dog was attacked by the neighbors pit bull, our washing machine broke, our van had to get checked out at the Honda dealer for a problem with the torque converter, and 4 out of 7 of us got a tummy bug.   All in 12 days.

Despite all of this we have accomplished a few things too.  Nearly every box and bin has been unpacked and you can actually see the floor in every room!  PROGRESS!

Mark has painted the master bathroom and it looks great... I will post some pics later.  Almost every window has a curtain hanging in it and I finally got tired of living without a microwave so purchased a cheap one at Walmart. (Hello microwave popcorn!!) PROGRESS!

I found out that you can get cheap bread at the dollar tree, and cheap snacks and cereals at Big Lots, and tomorrow I will check out a consignment sale for cheap kids clothes. PROGRESS!  Now I just need to figure out where to buy cheap meat or else we will have to become vegetarians! I was spoiled rotten with commissary prices on meat.

We have found a new Dr. at a family clinic a half a mile from our house, and have scheduled appointments for 3 kids.  PROGRESS!

We have found a church home without having to church "shop", which both Mark and I despise doing.  We prayed that God would guide us to the right place right off the bat and He was faithful to answer that prayer.  PROGRESS!

And last but not least....I now have a few Facebook friends from Oak Ridge... PROGRESS!!  :-)

We are HOME!!

We arrived at our new home at midnight Friday night and began the unpacking Saturday morning at 8am.  We hired two guys to come and help us, which was the smartest thing ever.  They were work horses and did so much of the heavy lifting.  We had the truck unpacked in two hours and the rest of the day was spent creating some sense of the mess!

We have had some issues with the work done on the house.  Had to call the plumber back 3 times to fix things he did.  I don't think we will be using him when we do the kitchen in July.  Also since our house was old it did not have ceiling lights with wall switches, so we had an electrician wire this into all the rooms. He didn't put any light fixtures in (because he knew we were getting ceiling fans) but our handyman who was trying to be thoughtful went out and purchased simple light fixtures and put them up in all the rooms.  In one room he made a mistake hooking up the "hot" wires and we blew out Luke's PS3 and also our brand new projector that we had never even used!  I am so sad first that it happened but second that it happened because our handyman was going the extra mile and trying to be nice!  GRRRR.

Thus far I am THRILLED with the kids' schools.  Jordan and Kloe started today and had a good day.  Their teachers are really sweet, and Jordan was moved up from 2nd grade to 4th grade so that he would be with his same age peers.  In the long run I think this is important and the best decision.

We have the interesting and very opposite neighbors.  On one side is what must be a 3000+ square foot house.  An older couple live there and they brought us lemon pies.  YUM.  The wife teaches piano, which might come in handy!!  On the other side is a duplex apt. house and one of the apts. has a dad and three boys.  One kid is 16 and has a girlfriend who is due any time with twins.  Both he, and his two younger brothers are always outside smoking ... UGH.

The house is starting to look more like a home and there are fewer and fewer boxes each day.  We still have curtains to hang and rooms to paint, but slowly we are getting there!

Last but not least, I believe we have found our church home!  Mark's mom and dad and I went to church last Sunday morning and I really enjoyed it.  It is called Heritage Fellowship and is a Church of God.  We took everyone but Luke and went to Wednesday service tonight.  All the kids enjoyed their class.  Even Nikki made a new friend and didn't cry when she went to class by herself!  Nathan went to the nursery and for the first time in his life he stayed in there and didn't scream until the very very end!  UH- MA-ZING!  Our prayer was that God would lead us to the right church right from the beginning and that we wouldn't have to "church shop", and I love how He has been faithful to answer that prayer!

MOVING in one month! (And why that makes me happy!)

4 weeks from this week is "MOVING WEEK". I am very excited for this move. Being an Air Force wife we have moved plenty and every single time I was looking forward to it! I think moving is in our blood! And while I am a little apprehensive about being a single mom for 3.5 months, the good things about this move outweigh that!

I have really enjoyed living in Arkansas. The people are sweet, and very friendly and I don't have any complaints... well I do have one. We live 10 miles outside of town. 10 miles from church, schools, gas stations, grocery stores etc. We live 35 minutes from the AF base... doctors, work, commissary etc. And with gas at $3 a gallon it stinks. Seriously, we spent over $500 on gas last month and I have no social life! I don't go anywhere that I don't have to go. I am a recluse. And while I tend toward introversion it is only slight... I am actually almost 50/50. So I am so ready to live in a community. To live, go to school, church and shopping with my friends and neighbors. For the drive to the grocery store to take 2 minutes. Same for school, library, gas station, retaurant, and doctor's office. Most within 1 mile of our house, all within 2 miles. I won't have to consider how much gas it will take or the fact that just driving into town and back will add 40 minutes to whatever I was planning to do. When you have a large family every minute counts as much as every dollar!

So yes I am very excited that life is about to radically change, but I guess that means I am going to have to take a shower now and then and quit wearing my pajamas all day. Just joking... well sort of. :-)

The Story of the Chair!!

We lost most of our furniture in the tornado, including a brand new recliner that Mark had bought me for my birthday just 4 months earlier. Since then we have replaced a lot of our furniture with things people donated or by shopping at the local Goodwill. Add to that several great Craig's list finds and we were doing great. There was one thing missing though... my recliner. I loved it, I spent hours upon hours of Nathan's first weeks and months rocking him and nursing him in that chair. We kept talking about getting another one some day. That day was today, and what we got is 10x better! This is called a "chair and a half recliner" and it fits Mark and I side by side PERFECTLY. It also, as you can see, will easily fit a mama and a passel of younguns. PERFECTO!! I am so happy. WE have already labeled it the "reading snuggle buggle chair" and I think I have read at least a dozen books since we brought it in 3 hours ago. While this is the one and only "new" piece of furniture we allowed ourselves to "splurge" on, I don't think I will ever have buyer's remorse!!

Commercial Culture Shock

We went to a Super Bowl Party at our church last night. I am not really into football, but I can enjoy a good party and a good game. And of course there is the commercials. Speaking of commercials let me give some background. We don't have cable, or satellite, so we live a very sheltered life of watching videos and Netflix and are quite oblivious to the trends in advertising.

We did have satellite for about 18 months when we returned home from Japan in 2007. Watching the Super Bowl commercials last night reminded me of this post about my commercial culture shock way back then. The longer we had satellite, the less shocking and embarrassing the commercials became. We just got used to them I guess.

But that was a couple years ago, and I have been out of the advertising loop once again. And then there was last night. Everyone watches the Super Bowl for the commercials right? And there were definitely a few good ones, but more often than not, I found myself distracting my kids, telling them to go play, as well as being thankful that the sexual innuendo would be lost on them. So many of the commercials were embarrassing and offensive, especially to be watching with a 4, 7, and 10 year old! I can't tell you how many times I looked at Mark and said "I am so glad we don't have cable!"

Am I the only one who noticed this or was bothered by it? Has my "lack of exposure" to today's advertising made me oversensitive? Or has overexposure made the rest of the world oblivious? (And in case you wonder what I am talking about just go to youtube and watch a few of the commercials again with new eyes... i.e. Doritos: Two men in a Sauna, Sealy: A bunch of couples in bed, Pepsi Max: "I want to sleep with her, I want to sleep with her", and Hotdaddy.co: Joan Rivers hot body. (blech)

An Adoption/Attachment/Adjustment Quickie

I have recently read a few posts that really echo our experiences, thoughts, and emotions as we walk this adoption road that the Lord has put us on.

I don't know this gal, but this is a great post for anyone who is in the process of adopting, getting close to bringing your child home, in the early weeks and months of having your child home, or pretty much any other stage... LOL! We had a LOT of these types of interactions with our kids early on, and I can remember being so proud of the times I was the "super-human, detached, clinical mom" and feeling so guilty for those times when I was "drawn into the tangle".

http://www.rageagainsttheminivan.com/2010/09/side-stepping-drama.html

My favorite quote from the previous blog post:

"But I can say that no amount of knowledge or learned skills have prepared me for the way all of this gets to the core of my character."

AMEN.

This second one is actually a link to several posts on the adjustment and emotions involved in becoming a family. Kim is a VERY good friend of mine, who brought her two ET kiddos home just weeks after we brought Jordan and Kloe home. We have similar personalities, so perhaps that is why I can always relate to her honest, tell it like it is style!

http://ablissfulheart.blogspot.com/search/label/adjustment

Someday I hope to have time to share my own words, but for now, there is a lot of good stuff in the above posts!!

Bad back

When I was 18 I was a nurse's aid. I was planning to become an RN someday. I worked for a few months at a nursing home and couldn't stand it anymore because my back was ALWAYS aching. I think there were several reasons for this.

1) Bad genes

2)Being short (lifting heights are much higher for short people and this puts a lot more stress on the back

3)The nature of nursing home work- always trying to do a two person job alone or a three person job with two etc.

Regardless, I quit being an aid and decided nursing wasn't meant to be for me. Over the last decade I have had 3 incidents which I believe were related to a bulging disc. I also had one 6 month stint of chronic back pain where I spent hundreds on a chiropractor then went to physical therapy for a couple months, neither of which cured my back pain. Ironically it mysteriously disappeared after our trip to Ethiopia. (Possibly due to being pregnant with Nathan and the extra progesterone causing my muscles to relax). This was all at the back of my mind when I decided to pursue nursing again. I even prayed that if my back could not "hack" the nursing field that God would show me clearly before I wasted my time. After all for the last couple of years my back had been fairly well behaved so I had some hope...

.... until two weeks before Christmas. I bent over to pull up on my 60+ pound 6 year old and instantly knew I had made a very bad mistake. A mistake I am still trying to recover from 3.5 weeks later. You know where this is going right? Well, sadly, God answered my prayer, but not in the way that I was hoping for! Guidance is guidance none the less, and it has become pretty clear to me that my aging and undependable back is not suited for the rigors of nursing.

All is not lost however as I will pursue another career. Something that was 2nd choice, not because I liked the idea less, but because in my impatience I did not want to have to go to school for 4 years instead of 2. It just so happens that the local college Mark and I planned to attend offers a 2+2 program where you can get your teaching degree. Yes, I am going to go back to school, not to be a nurse, but to be a teacher! Now if I had my dream job, I would teach math only, as I love it, and I love explaining it, and I love helping people to understand it. But it doesn't exactly work that way. To begin with the degree will be in early elementary education (k-6). I hope to eventually focus in on math, but that is all way way in the future and I am slowly learning not to plan too far ahead.

After my initial disappointment, I have really warmed up to the idea for several reasons. First it is almost CERTAIN we could get a position with mercy ships as they are always looking for teachers who will make long term commitments. This is not the case for nurses who they don't tend to have a shortage of since they allow short term commitments. Second, we STILL have a heart for Japan. So this could also open a door for us to go back to Japan some day as a teacher in a DODDS school. Third... one back incident will not put me out of a job. Fourth, I can complete much of my schooling online the first two years and will not have to have the two littlest kids in full time day care. This is huge as it was probably the biggest negative of going to nursing school for me. It will also save us ALOT of money. Child care is NOT cheap.

So, while I am not happy to have this troublesome back problem, I am quite pleased that the Lord has used it to guide us in a new direction. =) And that my friends is the change to the change to the change in our plans for the future. I think that is about plan G... we still have H-Z as possibilities.... HA.

The thing about promises...

There's this thing about promises. You have to believe them and walk in them to get the benefit. God has promised me REST in 2011, but REST takes work. Seems like an oxymoron I know. But already I have had to restrain myself from jumping into the next new thing that I want to do. I feel the Holy Spirit's gentle nudging. "If you want to receive the REST I have promised, you may have to be willing to lay some things aside." This for me is SCHOOL. I want to get a jump start on some more classes and I keep thinking that I could squeeze one or two into my schedule this next 8 week term. NO. Yes, I know I am moving in 9 weeks and that takes time and preparation, but these classes aren't hard, just busy work really. NO. But if I work on them now that is one or two less classes I will need to take next year. NO. So... slowly, I am learning that my season of rest will only come if I am a willing participant. No classes for me this term, it's killing me, but it is for the best.

Also... stay tuned for a pretty BIG change in our future plans. Yes my friends, God has thrown the Van Clan another curve ball...

A promise for 2011!

When I woke up on 1-1-11 the first thing I did was open the Bible and pray that God would give me a word for 2011. It is no secret that we have had a stressful 1.5 years. We went from three to six kids, which included international travel, adoption, and a surprise pregnancy, we lost 90% of our material posessions to a tornado that destroyed our home while we huddled under a table in the hallway. Those are just the BIG stressors... Unrest, Stress, Struggle, Change, and Trials, are all good words to describe our life in 2010. In some ways it just seemed like we couldn't catch a break.

We have prayed many times over 2010 and asked the Lord for a season of rest. A season where life just seemed to "work" and the day to day problems were manageable... which brings me back to my prayer on 1-1-11. I opened my Bible to the book of Joshua and began reading. It wasn't long before I came to the promise God had for us.... only God could know it was the thing I wanted and needed more than anything! (From Joshua 21:43-45)

So the LORD gave to Israel (The Van Clan) all the land of which He had sworn to give to their fathers, and they took possession of it and dwelt in it.

[The Lord has given us a new land (TN) and we will take possession of our new home soon]

The LORD gave them rest all around... And not a man of all their enemies stood against them;

[REST!! Just like Israel, the Van Clan is looking forward to a season of rest!]

Not a word failed of any good thing which the LORD had spoken to the house of Israel [or Van Druff]. All came to pass.

[God's promises never fail... He is faithful!]

Goodbye 2010... and you are very WELCOME 2011!!

Where You go, I'll GO!

The week since Thanksgiving has been one of the most gut wrenching, soul-searching weeks of my life.

It all started with a simple Facebook comment on Thanksgiving Day. One that I meant with all my heart. "I am thankful for Nathan, the source of so much joy. I am so glad that God knows better than me how many children should call me "mama". (What I didn't write, was that is 6 and only 6, right Lord?).

Skip ahead to Tuesday afternoon. The Chris Tomlin song "I Will Follow" is playing on the radio. "Where you go I'll go, Where you stay I'll stay, When you move I'll move, I will follow YOU". I was contemplating this and thinking about how God had never really lead me to a place I didn't want to go. I prayed right then that if God ever asked me to follow Him to a hard place, a place I didn't want to go, that I could STILL sing that song and mean it.

Later that night I realized I was "late". Just mentioned it in passing but didn't think too much about it. Then in the middle of the night as I was fighting insomnia for the second night in a row, I remembered that one of the first MAJOR symptoms of pregnancy for me is insomnia. Then I realized that I had felt nauseous that morning. I just knew right then and there that I was pregnant. Every feeling imaginable washed over me: Anger, Pity, Panic, Devastation. I woke Mark up and bawled my eyes out. Doesn't God know that we have PLANS? Doesn't God know that I can't take care of a baby and go through the first three months of BEDRIDDEN morning sickness? Doesn't He know that last pregnancy I was a psycho-mom? This cannot be good. (Where you go ... I'll go...) Mark prayed for me, I got a little bit of peace and decided that if God called me to it, He would help me through it.

Then yesterday out of the blue I got a facebook message from someone who had no idea what I was going through. She was thanking me for being a blessing without realizing it. She talked about how she had seen my Facebook status about Nathan and thought "that's nice and so true" and how just this week she found out that she is pregnant. She is 40 (like me... well this month I will be!), she has 6 kids already (like me) and this was just NOT in her plan (like me). She told me when she found out she was pregnant she "... had a good cry, and immediately remembered your post. I WILL trust that God does indeed know what I need far better than I know what I need."

Remember at this point I am still fairly convicned that I am pregnant! But either way, it was no coincidence that God sent me that message on that day of all days. It was like a personal love not from the Father, reminding me that HE has a plan and it IS the BEST plan.

Well this morning my period finally showed up, almost a week late. I have never been so relieved in all my life. NEVER. Would I have loved and cherished another child? You bet! But it wasn't what I really wanted. I was overwhelmed completely at the thought. Sometimes I think God tests us. Not because He doesn't already know everything in our hearts. He does! I think sometimes God tests us to give us a glimpse inside our own hearts. In the end, God answered my question and I discovered that I really could sing the words of that song, even if God took me to a hard place. "Where you go, I'll GO!!"